The first point of feedback that Simon gave was that some of my essay feels informal which was mainly down to me using first person a lot of the time. A couple of sentences/paragraphs were also unsupported with a subjective tone so he suggested a couple of books to help find more content to support my points.
Consumer Psychology - Kathryn Janson Boyd
Hidden Persuaders - Vance Packard
The main issue with my essay was that the title and certain sections of the essay itself is that it was too broad. I talked mainly about the brands, their packaging and their advertising methods but Simon suggested narrowing down to one specific area of design so that my essay would be stronger and more precise. Considering that advertising is an interest of mine and that most of my points were based around that, I will aim to focus my essay entirely on that.
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